January 1, 2013

New Year.  Christmas was amazing.  I had 2 Christmas miracles.  Ken stopped drinking and Dan started going to church.  It just doesn't get any better than that.  If I never have another Christmas, this one was the last one I would have wanted.  Perfectly timed by the Lord.  Our prayers may seem to go into the wind and disappear, but God hears every one.  

Spiritually, I am the strongest I have ever been, and I hope every day of the rest of my life I can say just that.  I am spiritually stronger than ever.  Nothing else matters in my life but my service to the Lord and his people.  Little miracles happen all around me.  They always have, but I was too busy looking for what I wanted in life to notice.  Not any more!  

This year, I will stay in tune with my God and no matter how small I must become, I will live for God in my entirety.  Life is so calm, serene and beautiful.  All I need is love.  God is love.  All I need is God.

puffnstuff

1.  Rejected by daughter forever.
2.  Former husband arrested for sex abuse.
2.  Son separated.
3.  Son nearly dies.
4.  Son separated.
5.  Son has heart attack.

My best friend has suffered these life-changing events all within about 1 year.  One of them would be traumatic, but 5 of them are beyond enduring, except for the grace of God.

God's strength is enough. 

You can't make this stuff up!

A friend of mine said "You can't make this stuff up!" regarding his life challenges.  His daughter developed a serious  health condition and thankfully is out of the woods for that, but then suddenly she came down with a totally different kind of health issue which once again put her in critical condition.  His brother has refused to talk to him and has totally cut him out of his life.  Two of his children have separated from their spouses in recent months with very harsh feelings between them, though I guess when separation is involved, it's seldom amicable.  Just one thing after another for this dear friend. I told him that he needs to "keep both eyes on Jesus."  That way he will not get lost in this mess called life.  A priest friend told me that we need to carry our crosses, like Jesus taught.  He also said we need to pick up our own crosses, and "do not ask for a different cross" though that sure looks tempting sometimes when our burdens seem too heavy.  So like my mom said when prayers do not seem to be heard, "keep on prayin'."  Thanks mom.

Disneyland Trip at 63

I suppose going to Disneyland at 63 is like going to live in an old folks home at 16.  Isn't done much.  However, when you have kids, and you like them, you want to spend time with them, no matter what!  So, now I sit here with sore knees from 3 days of walking, swollen ankles caused by too much cheese popcorn, and a decision to go on another diet.  THIS TIME I MEAN IT!

You know how God talks to us through music?  He talked to us through the stars last night in the car on the way home.  At about 10 p.m., just as we were about at the Oregon border, we looked up to see the Big Dipper.  It was clearly visible through the windshield high in the sky.  It led us home.  Then, just as I was being amazed at that sight, the song "Homeward Bound" by Simon and Garfunkel came on the radio.  Thank you God for being with me, even when I don't recognize it. 

It was awesome watching Ken enjoy himself in Disneyland.  Seven years ago, I was blessed by this with Dan.  It is amazing to see them get lost in the magic that Walt created.  To watch your children have joy in an often hostile world in itself is magical.

Jesus loves His children so much.  We are His children!  Thank you Lord for letting us all go back again to being your kids here on earth at Disneyland.

quiet apartment

We all know God is in charge of our lives, and if we truly want to follow Him, He won't allow us to stray.  So, I am happy at last to not question my placement in my life, but see what's around me and what good I can do.  I am now in a tiny apartment and without my Rose, it gets boring.  I can't say lonely, because I am enjoying myself and being with me finally, but what to do?  So, I listen to what God's message is, and slow down.  "Be still and know that I am God."  God knows how hyper I have always been. Mom said "You would try the patience of a saint."  Sometimes criticisms are true!  I am learning to slow myself down, enjoy the quiet, follow God's path and wait upon the Lord.

My flower garden

I was talking to God this morning, thinking about my life, my sorrows, my regrets.  Then this came to me.  It makes as much sense to mourn the old rusty tools I used for creating my garden as it does to mourn my past.   I used those rusty old tools to break up my hardness of heart, to weed out my sins, and prepare good healthy rich soil for God to plant his beautiful flowers.  I can still miss those old rusty garden tools, and they are still over there in the shed, any time I want to visit them.  But they have done their job.  Sometimes, if the weeds come back, and getting out the old garden tools will help make God's flower garden more beautiful still, I can go back and fix it up.  God's garden is all I am interested in. 

Mary My Mother

I had been looking at a picture of Our Lady.  She was sitting, and looking out an open door.  I thought perhaps it was depicting the Annunciation.  It was such a peaceful scene.  Then in my mind's eye, I saw myself sitting with her, and her comforting me.  She had turned to me and had put her arm around my shoulder in a caring concerning way.  She is a great mom to me, just as she was a great mom to Jesus my brother.